Endurance

“Therefore do not cast away your confidence, which has great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise” (Hebrews 10:35-36, NJKV).

I know I struggle with casting my confidence away in God... the confidence of not having more children.

BUT wait, I have children already, so why wouldn't I be able to have more- even if most of them are in heaven, their still my children!!

His promise to us was that we WOULD have babies.. now I have to believe in it. Either from my womb or adoption- I will have more children.

Iam p+4 with constant light cramping since cd12... which is usually a great sign for me that its implantation... but today I felt nothing- so it may have just been the clomid and ovulation working.

Yesterday I took 2 progesterone troches- and I was a MISERABLE monster. I couldn't think straight and had zero energy and a bad headache, so I only took 1 today, and I feel great!

My progesterone levels are always SUPER-DUPER high like 35 p+7, my Dr. said its a good thing and told me to stay on it- but I dont think feeling like a Hormone Head is getting me anywhere, so hopefully the choice to cut back wont mess anything up.

My husband and child deserve a stable person in their life, not someone who can't rationalize the simplest of things!

That's where I'm at... pressing on and trying to trust <3