We trust, we march on..

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God." Heb 12:1

I am in the middle of taking Femera, and I feel like I am walking through a thick cloud mentally. Tomorrow is my last dose and by Friday I should be in the clear... My husband will be so happy to have me back, I haven't been so pleasant!

It was so surreal to take the Femera after losing Claire.. I kept thinking, I'm suppose to be pregnant right now, and I'm taking fertility drugs... but the TRUTH is I'm not suppose to be pregnant right now, my baby is where God called her to be.

Do I sound peaceful in my doubt? Because I am. I think that is the true miracle of it all, I miss her and I long for her.. but I am peaceful and we are trying to be as hopeful as we can...


The words of my 2yr old minister to my heart, and his sweet voice echo's in my soul when I want to lose hope..

Sitting at the dinner table after grace he says, "Mommy, Jesus gots the owies on his feet."
I say, "Yes he does hunny, do you know why?"
Levi replies with a huge smile, "... because He loves me so much!" And eats his dinner, like its a fact of life and dosent need to be discussed further!

I glance to my husband and see his eyes full of tears, and he says "That's right Levi, He does :)"

So simple, and perfect.

My suffering, my hurts, my cross... is all for His glory, and its a beautiful mess at times.

If I could throw this cross of infertility away I would, but I think I would be throwing God away with it, so I have to cling to it, and pray for strength to carry it... and remind my self that

Jesus owies are because He loves me so much..